Byakuya's Problems
by PulcherAnima
Summary: Byakuya has many problems, and Renji is the only one he ever revealed them to. NOW A WORK IN PROGRESS! After a very long wait, the story will continue!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, if I did it would be oh so different.

This was inspired by a conversation between me and my love, Aaya.

Pairing: ByaxRen

Byakuya's Problems

As a noble, Byakuya expected every day to be perfect. Failure and disappointment were not in his vocabulary. At least, he thought they weren't. In all his time as a captain, he was never late for a meeting and he completed his work on time. He was the definition of perfect. Nothing could go wrong, that is, nothing did go wrong until that fateful day. Two days ago, he finally, after years of heartache, confessed his love to Renji, or he tried to.

It all started when he arrived into the office on time as usual. He sat at his desk and began his daily chore of reports. As usual, Renji arrived an hour late. It irked Byakuya to no end how he could be tardy every day. As usual he gave Renji the lecture on perfection and how his tardiness shamed his name,.

"Renji, you need to be on time. You are a disgrace to this squad…." As usual, Renji agreed and promised to be on time. Anyone who knew Renji well enough knew he wouldn't, but Byakuya played along with his word. So long as the work got done he didn't particularly stress the details. After two years of trying to reform the red head's behavior, he let it go. In the end, he just made Renji work over time as compensation.

It was during one of these late night work days that the event happened. It all started when Renji came close to him, so uncomfortably close that Byakuya could hardly keep his normal cold expression on. His pulse quickened so much he could hardly keep his breathing quiet. Renji, being the kind person he was, leaned in way too close and asked him if he was getting sick. Oh how Byakuya wanted to die just then. His cheeks flushed bright red, which caused his vice-captain to worry even more, so much so that he placed a hand on Byakuya's forehead to see if he was running a fever. Byakuya stammered for the first time in his life and could barely say, "I'm okay." Renji went pale, and Byakuya fainted from the sheer gravity of his situation. 

Byakuya awoke to a soft bed and a glass of water being handed to him. He looked to see Renji leaning over him. He murmured a word of assurance to him and broke down, admitting all of his love and feelings for him. Renji stood still, looking at him dumb struck. Byakuya couldn't blame him, he was known for being an ice block when it came to emotions. Renji leaned down and wrapped his arms around his now vulnerable captain and whispered words of comfort and assurance to him. The two of them stayed like that until they fell asleep together.

Byakuya slowly opened his eyes. One quick told him he was not in his room. A glance to the window told him it was about noon. He jumped up knowing full well he was late. How could he, the definition of perfection, be late? On top of that, his stomach hurt terribly. He shook Renji, waking up the red head. Renji grunted and yawned loudly looking at Byakuya.

"Now I know why you are late.. You don't have an alarm and you stay up late," Byakuya looked at him reproachfully. "I shall give you one so that you are on time. Renji smirked and started to get dressed.

Renji stopped in mid action and looked at his captain, "Aren't you late for a captain's meeting?" Byakuya grimaced and nodded. The word late shot through his heart like a knife. "You look a little pale and flushed, are you ill?"

Unable to contain it all Byakuya launched into a rant. His emotions poured forth and his mask of indifference faded. Renji had just that powerful an effect on him and he couldn't keep hiding his feelings and health from him.

"I feel sick. I haven't been able to push any out lately when sitting on the toi-toi. my stomach hurts… I have a bad case of constipation, that's mostly why I'm an ass all the time. that or I really have to piss badly, kind of like I really do now. I'm about to turn yellow with it. Do you have this problem Renji? I seem prone to it. But I really need some kind of medicine and I really do have to pee, but I hate peeing in other people's houses. I'm just weird like that. What are you looking at me like that for? you asked how I was and no, I did not drink. you should know that. You were with me after all! Oh, but my bladder is about to burst from holding it all in. I still wish I could push one out while on the toi-toi. what's a toi-toi? It's a toilet that's what. Yes I am a weird person, surprise, this is what I am truly like. You know I cant hold this piss in any longer… you know, when times like this happen, I sneak out to a bush and let it all go. It's a wonderful feelings. I can do it so elegantly and gracefully too. Oh how my stomach hurts badly. Constipation is not fun you know? Oh the blasphemy of being a noble!" He falls on top of Renji and cries, clinging to him, not wanting to be separated from him. He sobbing quietly, letting out all of his feelings. He looked at Renji, with a "woe-is-me" look, not feeling a bit of shame for anything he just said.

Renji, having listened to Byakuya's rant, stared, not know what to say to his captain. Who knew Byakuya Kuchiki was so…imperfect? He was even a bit on the dirty and weird side. This was one rant that he listened to with all ears, not wanting to miss a thing his captain said. For once his captain left him speechless and interested, after all, this was a side of him that no one would ever see, except him. For this was the kind of entertainment, you can't find anywhere and it talk all of Renji's power not to laugh at his captain's "distress".


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello!**

**I don't own Bleach.**

**This is a yaoi so don't read if you don't like!**

**Pairing: ByaxRen**

**Rating may go up and sorry for the slow update but I never intended this to have multiple chapters. I just now decided to continue it.**

Byakuya slowly got over the shock of not being perfect. Slowly oh slowly did what happened the other day sink in. It took him a few hours, which he took off of course to digest what had happened. Well to be honest, he was forced to take off the rest of the day, and a week in addition to that. How did he go from being perfect to being so imperfect? All his life he was groomed to be the Kuchiki Head of the House. During his childhood he spent hours following after his grandfather instead of playing games or finding friends. If there was a friend, Yoruichi to be exact, she came over herself and forced her company on to him.

Why did he have the day off? It all started that day; he was late to the captains meeting. Byakuya had woken up late that morning and to his embarrassment, ranted a few…disturbing things to Renji. After that he proceeded to sob, actually sob in Renji's arms and he held him, actually held him. The stoic noble always thought that his vice captain hated him. This very same man that faced him in battle and lived to tell the tale was now holding him as if he were some child. The only thing is Renji never did say if he loved him back. The absence of that certain act bothered him all day. As stated before it all began at his vice captains house.

"Captain you really need to get going… You're sorely late." Renji detached himself from his vulnerable captain. For the first time he got a glimpse of the inner workings of the Kuchiki noble. While it was entertaining and a bit weird, he needed to help him get his bearings. "I'll draw you a nice hot bath and while you're taking care of that, I'll fix you something to eat." Byakuya couldn't really respond because his mind turned in to a blank slate. He merely nodded as Renji took him by the hand as if he were a child, guiding him to his bathroom. It was as if he were elsewhere, as if someone else was looking through him as he watched the read head draw his bath. When it was finished Renji turned and left to go fix him something to eat. Honestly the Kuchiki noble wasn't very hungry, but he didn't fight him and instead took care of his own business and showered.

When it was all said and done, Byakuya stepped out of the nice comforting hot water. Now he felt a little more like himself. With freshly shampooed hair and nicely clean skin, he wrapped himself in a towel and stood in there for a moment looking in the mirror. Now his mind was beginning to buzz with questions, questions he wasn't quite comfortable with and a few doubts dare he even think the word? As he started to brood a soft knock on the door startled him out of that dark path he was travelling. For a moment he forgot he was not at home.

"Captain I brought you some clothes. It's not your size, but it's not as if you have anything here… Well that's obvious, but is that okay with you?" Byakuya unlocked the door and opened it. Renji stared at him, a bit surprised since it wasn't every day he got to see his captain naked with the exception of a towel around him. The stoic noble couldn't blame him, he wasn't confident in that he liked to boast, surprisingly, but he was quite the looker, but looks weren't everything when it came to love. He knew that well enough since he fell in love with a common woman and now he was head over heels in love with the rudest and loudest red head in all of Soul Society.

"That will be sufficient," Byakuya reached for the uniform and closed the door. It would be indecent to dress in front of another especially if you were not married. At least some part of his noble training managed to survive. When he finished and stood in front of the he noticed one of the shoulders of the uniform hanging too loosely off of his frame. The Shihakushou robe was too big to fit him and in fact he could barely see his hands because of it. The entire uniform was barely clinging to his body and inwardly the noble groaned because now he looked like a slob. It worried him along with many…other things which whirled around in his mind. Pushing those thoughts aside for the moment, he steeled himself for the day, putting on his cold expression and opened the door and Renji led him down the hall to his kitchen and dining area. There they shared a tense meal in silence and Byakuya forced himself to eat just because it was the polite thing to do. When they were finished they each stood. Renji cleared the table and disappeared, returning with Byakuya's scarf, gloves, kenseikan, and his zanpakuto.

Byakuya took the items and set them down. He tugged each glove over his hands carefully. As he did he felt Renji watching him and looked up. There was a spark of curiosity in those dark eyes which Byakuya thought he read a tinge of lust in. Inwardly he chided himself, not wanting to read too much in to it and proceeded to wrap the soft wind silk scarf around his neck. He pulled the captain's coat over top of the soul reaper uniform and then sighed staring at the kenseikan. Putting them on was always a pain and he honestly hated it, but all nobles wore them. Even as he debated wearing them or not he reached a hand out and took one, carefully fastening the piece around his hair, but the concentration wasn't there as usually and it slipped. "Damn it." He caught the piece just in time before it hit the table and broke but that wasn't all he caught. The expression on Renji's face was priceless. If he were anyone else he'd have laughed by now, but he was Byakuya Kuchiki and he managed to keep a straight face.

Renji took the hairpiece out of his captain's hands and carefully fixed each piece in to place. Surprisingly he knew exactly where they went and how they worked. What surprised him even more was that the man in front of him, the one who hated being helped, being touched was letting him get away with it. Then again, after that little slip he had a few seconds ago, he probably didn't care, or wasn't paying much attention. The red head guessed the latter because beneath that entire cold mask, something was off. Renji could see it. When the last kenseikan was clicked in to place, Byakuya looked at him, muttered a thank you, pulled his socks and shoes on and flash stepped right out of the door. It was quite the sight, but the vice captain didn't dwell on the thought and quickly got ready for his day,

Captain's meetings were long drawn out boring things. Byakuya Kuchiki hated them with a passion. He hated standing there for hours listening to Head Captain Yamamotto slowly prattle on about things which the captains themselves already knew about. They were the ones out there on the battle field, in the thick of things with their vice captains along side. Being the noble he is, Byakuya didn't show his dislike, he never showed anything but anger or cold indifference to another. Rukia occasionally saw a side of him, a softer side, Ichigo had seen a different side from him, and now Renji was included. Yoruichi already knew what he was like; she grew up with him, pestering him, pushing his buttons. While the little rant with Renji disturbed him, the worst had yet to come. His perfect image started to unravel the moment he pushed those heavy double doors open and walked in to the captains meeting ten minutes late. Silence fell and his normally quiet footsteps seemed to reverberate throughout that damnable room. Somewhere in him, he felt the nervous butterflies in stir in his stomach. Silently in his mind he cursed himself for eating before he came. Ignoring the questioning looks from Captains Ukitake and Shunsui; he took his place wordlessly and prayed that the meeting would continue. What rotten luck he had for Yamamoto clicked his staff, which contained his zanpakuto on the floor.

"Care to explain Captain Kuchiki why you are ten minutes late?" He opened his eyes, fixing his stare right on the squad six captain. Normally he would coolly reply back, or ignore him but this time he couldn't think of an excuse. No, an excuse would mean lying and lying led one on the path to failure. What could he say? Surely he couldn't tell him that he had fainted and his vice captain took him home with him and that he over slept because said vice captain didn't have an alarm clock? That sounded scandalous and scandal was not something a Kuchiki, or any great noble had. Byakuya looked up and stared right back in to the Head Captain's eye. Yamamoto looked right at him and cleared his throat.

Byakuya sighed, audibly sighed which got the attention of every captain now, even Zaraki on him. "There is nothing to explain Head Captain. For once, I was late in coming here. It will never happen again. Please excuse my discourteous behave and continue on with the meeting." For some reason his voice sounded alien in his ears. Evidently everyone else noticed a change too. Unohana, Ukitake, and Shunsui all watched him closely. Byakuya suppressed a shudder and paid close attention to what was being said at the meeting. Luckily for him the Head Captain didn't question him, for now at least. Really how did he expect to explain himself when such a scandalous act had occurred? Slowly ever so slowly his pride seemed to be diminishing, and not only that be he felt very ill, very sick to his stomach. This day could only get worse.

Minutes ticked by slowly and Byakuya slightly shifted on his feet, even now everyone's eyes still seemed to be trained on him and it was making him very uneasy, very nervous. Byakuya did his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach, those damnable butterflies. He let out a sigh, one that was heard and again Yamamoto looked at him.

"Is there something you wish to say Captain Kuchiki?" The question hung in the air. Byakuya moved to answer it but the answer wasn't quite what everyone expected. Actually it wasn't what he expected either as he heaved on the floor, very ignoble like! Usually when he got sick, he did it gracefully, yes gracefully. Even in sickness he was perfect, picture perfect! Each action was just gracefully executed with an artistic flair, but not today. No today he ended up collapsing in the floor, in front of everyone, and was vomiting. The noble could only imagine all too well the whispers that would follow him for the next hundred years or more. Luckily for him, Shunsui, Ukitake, and Unohana swiftly saw to his needs and carried him out. Even still, he groaned as they did in shame and discomfort. Where did all his perfect noble pride go? His eyes fluttered open enough to see that they took him to the hospital and he was eternally grateful they didn't linger long enough to question him. The two older captains, Shunsui and Ukitake swiftly returned to the meeting but Unohana stayed, tending to his needs silently. Though after a few minutes when he was settled in, she spoke.

"Now I see now why you were late. You look so pale. You need a few days off. Yes I am making you take a few days off. I intend to make sure you do." The look on squad four captain's face was enough to even scare Zaraki in to submission. The noble only nodded his head in agreement. Right now he was too weak to fight her and even if he was at full strength, he wouldn't dare defy her. When she was satisfied with how he was doing and his nod of agreement with her order, she swiftly turned and left, leaving him there in peace. Rukia naturally heard about his little fiasco from Ukitake because an hour later she stopped by and kept him company for a while, though they sat in a very tense and awkward silence until she politely excused herself and left. Renji however came by right after her and he looked absolutely livid.

Renji busted right through the door and slammed down right on the bed, "How dare you, YOU! Of all people get sick! You need to take better care of yourself! I am going to see to it captain that you take your sick days and get well." Byakuya stared like a deer caught in headlights. That is how Byakuya ended up at home. The moment he showed up to the squad barracks after his few hours in the hospital, Renji, Ukitake, and Shunsui lectured him as well as dragged him, yes, dragged him right back home. It was a sight to behold, the stunned expression on his face and those of his squad members as he, their captain, was forcibly hauled on the barracks and to his home. Byakuya didn't think he would ever recover from that blow. For the moment his pride was immensely shattered. Even so, when they got him home and convinced him to take the week off, he changed in to something more comfortable and settled in to bed with Renji right by his side.

**Cliff hanger! Didn't intend this to be a serious when I wrote it two years ago…. But I decided to revive and continue it the other day when I put up another fanfic for Doctor Who…. Weird how that made me want to write this who thing out… Well, now I'll be updating two stories now so that should keep me busy this summer till classes start.**


	3. Chapter 3

**As always I don't own Bleach and music is a great source of inspiration. Can't write without it. So of course I'm blasting my music too loud and writing this! Hopefully my updates will be regular. I doubt it though, usually just write when the impulse and idea is there. Well here's a chapter for you faithful readers. Wasn't too long of a wait compared to two years. Yaoi is inside, so turn away now if that's not your thing.**

Vacation, that was a word not included in Byakuya Kuchiki's vocabulary. What on Earth did that word mean to the noble? Right now Byakuya was on "vacation" but he was doing work. It calmed him some to know Renji at least conceded enough to bring him work from the office. Renji came by everyday to check on him and make sure he was not "seizing up" as he so eloquently put it from boredom or something like that. What did that red haired brash man think of him? A small smile spread across his lips at the thought as he sat in his bedroom working on a small stack of paper work. The door was open as it always is to allow him to view his beautiful garden. It was the height of spring time and he enjoyed seeing the flowers bloom. A gentle breeze made its way in to the room as he worked, close to finishing up the last few papers before setting them aside. Now that he finished, the noble stood carefully, not moving too fast for he learned he caught some sort of virus and needed to take it easy. Each movement gingerly carried out, but he managed to remain independent and shooed away any servant who dared to offer him help. Byakuya did not need help for it wasn't something so horrible that he was incapacitated.

Slowly he made the slow walk to the garden, finding his favorite spot by a small koi pond. There he sat down under the shade of a cherry blossom tree and let out a small sigh. It was times like these where he was glad that the part of the garden near his room was isolated from the rest of the Kuchiki Manor. Here in this special spot, he often retreated to think. Sometimes he let his emotions out little by little. Not many people knew where to look to find the spot, or him for that matter. It was his hideaway and his sanctuary, so when he looked up to find red hair tied up and some tattoos, he let out a small gasp.

"Renji?" The question hung in the air as he collected himself. Renji watched him as the noble went through a series of different looks, obviously having some sort of emotional trouble. Byakuya warred with himself, going from surprise, to anger, to fear, to surprise again. This was certainly no ordinary vacation. Even so a part of him liked the idea of having his red haired vice captain around.

"I came to check up on you. I knew I'd find you here. Took me a while since I got lost," Renji ran his hand over the back of his head. It was a bit cute, and dare he say hot when Renji did that. Byakuya inwardly scolded himself for thinking such lewd thoughts. Though with the dreams he had at night, it was a wonder he hadn't jumped the younger man. At least he could say after all these years, he still had it. If he ever did by some miracle get a chance to seduce his vice captain, he was confident in his abilities in bed. Being a noble, did he expect any less? When you are a noble, you are the best in everything, sex included. Renji startled him from his thoughts however when he sat down next to him, "Are you feeling any better Captain?" he nodded and Renji continued, "That's good. You'll be back in the office by the end of the week then. Knowing you after all. Don't worry I've been doing all of the work with the exception of what I bring by here of course. It's all legible for once too, though it takes longer than usual."

Byakuya looked at the red haired man beside him. He had gone out of his way to make sure everything was done by his standards. In his heart, the noble felt a sense of pride. Maybe all of those years of lecturing weren't wasted after all. When it counted, Renji pulled through in the end and that's what mattered to him now other than loyalty. In truth Byakuya counted himself lucky to have that man as his vice captain. As far as subordinates go, Renji was one of a kind. He wouldn't dare ask for a better vice captain. Standing, albeit shakily, he softly excused himself and made his way towards his room. While he walked however, he stumbled, a wave of dizziness upsetting his balance and he thought he'd end up falling in a disgraceful heap, but he felt strong hands catching him. These hands didn't let him fall and while he was grateful, he snapped, his voice calm and controlled, but laced with anger.

"I do not need help," he turned to see who the offender was, it was Renji. "I am perfectly capable of catching myself. I'm not incapacitated nor am I some helpless woman." Renji being Renji ignored those words, though he did raise an eyebrow as he picked his captain up and carried him to his room. The entire time the older man in his arms calmly, but angrily repeated what he said, though in various forms which went ignored on his ears. Byakuya was gently placed in bed before Renji gave him a response. "By the way I know you're not a man. Even with your feminine and delicate features, you're too stuck up the ass to be a woman. Plus if you were a woman, I definitely wouldn't be interested in following you… Domineering women aren't exactly my thing. Look at Rukia…" At that Byakuya stared, but then looked away giving Renji a "humph" Responding to that wouldn't be wide in any case. All that did was cause Renji to laugh before asking him if he needed anything.

"A cup of tea would be nice," Byakuya sat up and stared out of his room as Renji stood to get the tea. Out of all the servants he had, not one made tea as good as Renji did. He loved Renji's tea and always had him make him some. It was one of many things about Renji he liked, which was scary to admit. That man simply made the best tea in all of Soul Society and he craved a cup right now. Usually when he asked for something, Renji and his servants would comply fast, but he was infinitely glad that Renji did not rush in making his tea for it was always best when he took his time. Also, that gave Byakuya the time he needed to think. The events of the past few days lingered fresh in his memory and he needed to sort out what to do next. First of all he would be on time forever, for the rest of his career and if he did feel himself getting sick, he'd take some time off. This taught him a valuable lesson about being sick. As for Renji, he needed to devise a plan to figure out how to approach him. Byakuya yearned to know how Renji felt about him, truly felt. He could settle for admiration, but he found out what he wanted most of all from him was his love. With that it suddenly dawned on him. Renji was indeed ordered to see to it that he recovered and that meant spending time with him. The dark haired noble already told his staff not to disturb him unless he called for them and they complied, avoiding his wing of the manor. Renji was allowed back there as part of his orders and his duties to his captain. This was his chance to court the fiery red head. All that was left to do was think of a way to let his feelings be known again and to get Renji to say, and possibly show, his affections back.

There however was a downside to this plan. Byakuya Kuchiki had not courted very many people in his time. He courted one person and one only his wife Hisana and she was very easily courted. In other words, Byakuya felt he was out of practice. As far as being good in bed, he was perfect in that area. He strangely had confidence in himself when it came to that. As for courting Renji, Renji was a very difficult and brash young man and that scared him. Nervous butterflies rose in the pit of his stomach at the thought of him. If he made one wrong move he might as well kiss his chances goodbye. On the other hand, he is Byakuya Kuchiki Captain of Squad Six and he was excellent at planning strategy. Sucking in a deep breath, he calmed down and approached the situation logically. All of the information he needed was handed to him on a silver platter by working alongside of him. He knew Renji hated being controlled by anyone, even the noble himself. Conversely, Renji admitted earlier that he didn't mind Byakuya's controlling ways since he was a man and he was nobility. Renji seemed to have come to terms with their roles meaning Byakuya had leeway to work with. That simply meant he needed to carefully choose when he pressed him and exercised his authority which he could easily do. Byakuya smiled softly to himself and began to formulate a plan in which to snare his prized love in just as Renji entered the room with his tea. Not one hint of his inner works was shown on his face which was the picture of calm, controlled nobility. His hand gracefully accepted the cup and he carefully placed it to his lips and sipped at the tea which was delicious as always.

As the day went on, Byakuya found himself taking a small bit of a turn for the worse. His fever seemed to be increasing and he had a few of the servants worried. The only reason they were there was because Renji called them in much to the noble's displeasure. At that point, he didn't particularly bother to fight against him, opting to let the vice captain do whatever he wanted. In fact, it might even fit in well with his plan. Though usually he was opposed to undressing before another, he was in no shape to do so alone and those in a rare moved he tapped Renji on the shoulder after whispering his name softly.

"What is it Captain?" Renji turned to him, all of his concern showing in his eyes. Renji was exactly like Ichigo, both men showed every emotion. If Renji did indeed love him, it would show in his eyes as well as his actions. As much as he hated the idea of having Renji help him undress and bathe, it would open the door for something more. Things seemed to escalate better when bathing was involved, or so he rationed from all of the things he sometimes heard when he walked in on his squad. As for that, Byakuya did not eavesdrop, but he sometimes did walk silently and mask his spiritual pressure so that the squad members did not notice him for a long while and he had to admit, the looks on their faces were quite hilarious. Of course, his amusement was never displayed on his face in public.

Byakuya shakily stood, feeling nauseas, "As much as this pains me, I may require your assistance… in bathing. I don't trust myself to make it there safely. I assure you, I am not entirely pleased with the idea myself." Renji's expression was a mixture of surprise and concern. For now he couldn't tell if the man was revolted or not. Even so, the younger man offered Byakuya his arm for support, which much to his surprise he took and they made their way to the bathroom. This would be his first attempt at gauging Renji to see if any hint of affections were there. While before Renji had comforted him and held him that was different somehow. Byakuya wasn't completely satisfied with what happened especially since things happened so fast. Now he had time to properly digest the events, as did Renji if he thought of them at all, and accept that he loved that rash young man for who he was.

The Kuchiki Manor was large with several different rooms and many bathrooms. Byakuya being the head of the family had the master bedroom with a private bathroom. Renji escorted him there, shutting and locking the door before turning to face the noble who stood shakily, supporting himself on the sink. Byakuya himself felt nervous and unsure about the idea now that it was in play but he committed to it and would see it through to the end. With that he began to undress himself, slipping off the white shihakusho which the nobility wore over top of the black soul reaper outfit. As he began to untie the tie, he swayed as a wave of dizziness overtook him just as he had feared and Renji carefully caught him, pinning him against the sink. Ever calm, Byakuya suppressed the shutter as well as forced his respiration to stay even. He studied Renji as he began to undress him slowly, too slowly for his liking. Not only did his body burn with a fever, but he burned with a long lost desire, one he had repressed for far too long. Just having Renji so close made his head swim and he wanted to feel the man's cool touch on his skin. Even so, he held back, not wanting to push him too far, so he busied his own hands in helping Renji strip away his layers of clothing and then with Renji's support, ran himself a nice hot bath and lowered himself in it. The entire experience was beginning to take a toll on him as he felt a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. Those feelings only intensified when Renji rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to lather his body with soap.

Now Byakuya Kuchiki wasn't one to miscalculate that is until now. The moment he felt Renji lathering his body with soap, he shuttered. Renji of course did not exactly pick up on it, but he inquired none the less.

"Are you alright Captain?" There was miscalculation number two, for Renji's mouth was far too close to his ear. Byakuya could just feel the man's warm breath tickling his ear and the sensation shot through him like electricity. Another shutter escaped his control and he audibly sucked in a breath which led to mistake number three. Renji now turned him to face him and his hands were on his shoulders. Slowly they moved down his arms, washing them gently, but that concern was still there and he repeated the question. "Captain, are you okay? You're behaving rather odd tonight… Do you need anything?" Byakuya was so close to breaking, but he somehow held it together. He couldn't tell his vice captain that he desired him in a sexual way and that he was desperate for his touch and getting horny from what he was doing now could he? That would be too much for his already shattered pride, though he wasn't helping that problem any. This seemed to be trend, all the problems he was having.

"I'm fine Renji," he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, but settled in to Renji touch, using every ounce of noble pride and control to keep from pouncing Renji. All of that was put to the test as Renji's hands traveled dangerously low to his lower regions. By now the noble was pretty sure he had a nice sized problem on his hands, but he hoped Renji would be too daft to notice. It was amazing how daft Renji could be. Thankfully when he did wash down there, Byakuya exercised all of his will and kept from bucking his hips and moaning at the pressure applied there. This was one time he thanked Yoruichi for the hell she put him through. It was all thanks to her that he could be touched and have such control and hide it all relatively well.

Renji on the other hand grew increasingly uncomfortable. At this raven haired man inwardly praised his self. Byakuya succeeded in unraveling Renji just a tiny bit. When it was all said and done, Byakuya thankfully stood and toweled himself off. It was there he miscalculated however as Renji stared at him with surprise. He looked Byakuya straight in the eye with a look that unnerved him until it slammed down on him. He miscalculated as Renji would definitely see his problem, though that was a little late now.

Byakuya stared back at him and then raised an eyebrow, "What? Is something amiss Renji?" Slowly Renji began to laugh, looking at him and the laughter growing. His lips curled in to that characteristically devilish grin that Renji sometimes got. It was a cocky grin and Byakuya knew what that meant.

"Captain, I didn't think you had it in you."

"Whatever do you mean Abari?" He tried to sound serious, it worked, but Renji still had that cocky smile.

"I didn't think tight assed nobles could even get a hard on." Byakuya stared more from the shock of how he said it, than from what he said.

"Explain yourself." Renji stepped close, and Byakuya picked up that his balls had increased tenfold. In other words, Renji was shifting control of the situation to favor him and backed Byakuya right up against the wall. Byakuya miscalculated at least four times now which put him in a very uncomfortable position. He finally got his answer as Renji pinned the noble by his arms right up against the cold tile of the bathroom wall.

"Come on Captain. You're supposed to be the smart one. You always act like something stuck up your ass, but it's quite the opposite, it's what isn't there that makes you suck a dick."

Byakuya scoffed, "I don't take pleasure in your tone Abari." The fact that he used Renji's last name was a warning, Renji watched him closely, but he could tell he was backing off slightly.

"Fair enough Captain. Still you know I'm partially right. That can easily be fixed though." Byakuya went to protest, but Renji's mouth silenced him. He moaned softly in to Renji's mouth, giving in to his desires partially. Before he thought he had the answer, but now he wasn't sure again. Renji could easily be desperate and looking for an easy target. Byakuya didn't feel like resisting him much however and instead opened his mouth as Renji insistently nip at his bottom lip. Their tongues battled for a few seconds before Byakuya willingly conceded control and Renji began to explore his mouth. They only stopped kissing when Byakuya shivered. Then Renji broke the kiss, helping Byakuya to his room.

There things resumed after Renji closed the door, which wasn't new since Byakuya usually did when the night was a bit chilly as it luckily was that night. Byakuya debated for a few seconds about stopping things, but quickly gave up as Renji pushed him back on the sheets, letting his hands roam the noble's body. Those hands felt cool against the older man's fevered skin, and he leaned in and whimpered at every one. Renji's expression still wasn't quite readable, but Byakuya gave up for now putting it to the fact that one, he was ill and two he was lust filled. For now the problem was unresolved and his first plan partially failed. It did get him to this point, so it was a partial success. On that note Byakuya grabbed Renji's hand and stared at him, fixing him with an intense gaze.

"I want your touch, I'll admit to you that much." Renji leaned forward, still smiling. Byakuya intensified his glare, his voice serious, but laced with need as well. Mixed in with all of that however was a warning, "I do not however intend for this to go very far. Do you understand?"

Renji's smile lost a bit of the cockiness, "Understood Captain, however it's a start. I do intend to get my way one day." That last bit struck Byakuya and he thought that maybe his plan succeeded after all. Renji was an open book and maybe he was misinterpreting something. There were so many possibilities, but for now he shoved them all in to a corner and focused as Renji stroked him off, putting the right pressure on his member as well as the right speed. Slowly Byakuya began to relax and enjoy it. How did he go without such intimacy for so long? This was against all noble rules, but right now he didn't care. Whatever regrets came in the morning, he'd deal with them then. Renji's hands were all that mattered as well as how good they felt against his skin, pleasuring him. Soon he wouldn't be able to hold back anymore and he'd spill his seed all over Renji's hand. First a few soft moans escaped him, then his cold mask fell away and he began to get flush with pleasure. Soon Byakuya started moaning out Renji's name, which brought back that cocky smile to the man's face. One thing led to another as Byakuya climbed that hill towards his climax. It wasn't far from then that Renji's breath was in his ear whispering for him to let go and let go he did, unable to resist that deep voice and that silky quality it had taken on. How he had been reduced to this, Byakuya didn't know, but he enjoyed every last second of it as he surveyed the mess he left behind with sleepy grey eyes.

"Renji…" The name fell from his lips softly as he slipped in to sleep. It was a restful sleep, a comfortable one that he had not had in quite some time. Byakuya could now cross one problem off his list, but many others still remained. The next one was how to proceed in moving their relationship forward as well as the guilt that would inevitably riddle him as he thought of Hisana. What he didn't know was that Renji, after he cleaned up the mess, pushed a few stray hairs out of his face and whispered, "I love you" in his ear as he slept. All in all, Renji really was good for solving his problems and that is why he was glad he had him by his side. Whatever problems awaited him in the morning, he would address them then.

**It just seemed to write itself. Well the rating is defiantly going up now. I should write at one in the morning more often! Well tell me what you think. I hope it didn't suck too bad. That little scene in there wasn't planned. Well this whole thing wasn't planned. Well impulse writing is what I do best, eh? See you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the long wait with updating. So many things happened in past few weeks! I hope you all didn't think I abandoned this! Been so long thought, but at least it's not a year. Righty then, hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

He simply had to stop putting himself in these positions. The noble was pretty sure that one day he was going to go crazy. That being said, he wondered exactly why he was laying in bed. More importantly, why was a certain red head on top of him? Somehow Byakuya thought he should be more alarmed than he was, but he didn't seem to care right at the moment. No, he was just calmly laying there in his bed, naked in his bed at that. Before he could ask why he was naked, he remembered, he fell asleep naked. Then he remembered he fell asleep naked after getting a hand job from the same red head that was now on top of him. What a morning!

Oh the smile on Renji's face when he noticed that the noble was awake. It was such a confident smile. Byakuya glared right at him, a cold hard threatening glare. He didn't think it would work, but it did. Oh his vice captain removed his form fast. It was quite nice and he was pleasantly relieved. Sitting up, Byakuya stretched and ran his fingers through his soft hair. It felt nice to finally get a good night's sleep and he couldn't exactly be upset considering he woke up to the one he loved being on top of him. That's when it hit him. Said lover was in his room, naked. He turned around and stared, taking in his form, his naked wonderfully toned for complete with tattoos. It was quite a nice sight and he knew a slight blush was tinting his cheeks. Those hard grey eyes of his never missed a detail, so he saw the all together too confident grin stretch across Renji's face. It was then Byakuya decided he hated that grin.

"See something you like Captain?" Said captain picked up the brush that was intended for his hair and hurled it right at Renji's head. No words needed to be said then. Renji laughed as he rubbed the side of his head. Byakuya knew what Renji was thinking, but he'd be damned if he admitted that he liked what he saw. Also, luckily for him he had a spare brush and he proceeded to brush his hair out.

Once dressed, the two of them made their way down to breakfast. Renji tried and failed to persuade the noble to take breakfast in his room. Byakuya always ate breakfast with Rukia and his Grandfather and he wouldn't break that routine just because he was sick. The two men walked through the door and Rukia looked up from where she sat. Byakuya could tell the food was just being put out so they were just in time. Byakuya took a seat across from Rukia and Renji a seat down from Rukia.

"What're you doin here Renji," Rukia lapsed back in to her informal way of speaking. She only realized after she said it and stared right at Byakuya. He looked right back at her, not saying a word. She quickly apologized though and he just sighed and took a sip of his tea.

"I'm supposed to be here taking care of Captain," Renji rested his arms on the table obviously having forgotten where he was at. Rukia stared right at him and he looked at her confused. "What's with the look?" Discreetly she pointed to Renji's elbows, but he obviously didn't get it. "Yeah… I'm not following."

Rukia was about to whisper but Byakuya beat her to it. "You're elbows are on the table and Rukia is trying to politely tell you to stop, but you're too thickheaded to get it. It was a wasted effort on her part." He said it so calmly but the look on both of their faces almost made him laugh, almost. He did give them just the hint of a smile, to which their eyes widened out of shock. This time he couldn't help but smile, "If you keep looking like that I might just burst out laughing. Might being the key word. Now shall we eat?"

The rest of the breakfast was in stunned silence. Rukia and Renji kept watching him, partly out of curiosity and shock. He actually was a little put off by it. Instead of glaring coldly at them, he kept looked at them with this odd look as they put it. All he did to that was cock one eyebrow in interest and ask what they meant to which they stared, jaws agape. It was quite comical in a way. Really he needed to smile and joke a little more. After breakfast, Rukia excused herself and left to go in to work. Byakuya walked slowly back to his room with Renji right at his heels. He opened the doors this time, letting in some sunlight and so that he could enjoy the beautiful garden. Grabbing some paper, he started to do some work, not work from the squad barracks, but normal noble work that needed to be done. Renji stretched out by the door however, obviously enjoying the lazy day, but then again Renji could be rather lazy when he wanted to.

A few hours in to the day, a few servants naturally came by to ask for their orders. Byakuya again asked to be left alone, which wasn't entirely unusual and so they shuffled away without further thought. Renji shifted and then cleared his throat. "Captain, I have a weird question. I've never really been here, but I just noticed something."

Byakuya looked at him, "Go ahead."

"All of the staff here, the guys at least, all look the same and they're all...old. They remind me of your Grandpa." Byakuya instantly dropped the brush he was writing with and stared at him, a look of shock on his face. Renji smiled sheepishly and winced, evidently remembering that when Byakuya looked like he did now, he usually would get thrashed. Instead this time the captain shuttered. He always thought it was creepy himself.

"Just leave it Renji… Let it go. I have. Always wondered the same thing myself…" Renji snickered and he turned to him, "By the way they don't look like my grandpa… Well some of them do…" Renji doubled over with laughter and Byakuya sighed and shook his head, preferring not to think about it. He was so busy being amused; he failed to see Renji move closer and jumped just the slightest at his touch.

"Your hair is softer than I thought," the red head said as he ran his hands slightly rougher than the older man would have liked through his hair. He protested a bit whispering him to be a bit gentler, but otherwise didn't discourage the action. Instead the noble leaned in to it sighed and abandoned his work to climb in Renji's lap. His vice captain was equally surprised when he did, but wrapped an arm around his waist. "You're incredibly light… You really are almost like a woman, with the exception of the parts."

Byakuya closed his eyes, "If you were anyone else I'd have killed you for that. Count yourself lucky Abarai."

"I already do."

"You have no tact and no discretion…" Renji nodded, though Byakuya wasn't exactly looking.

"You've told me that several times Captain." Byakuya curled up and rested his head on Renji's chest. Right now he was relaxed and the feel of Renji's fingers in his hair was rather soothing. If the man was aiming to convince him to do something, this was the right time because he was up for anything right about now in such a dreamy content state. The noble let out a soft yawn which he covered up with his hand before drifting off to sleep. It was such a peaceful moment and he didn't want to give it up for the world.

**Short chapter, but it's something. By the way, the joke about all of Byakuya's servants being creepy look a likes for his Grandpa, a friend and I noticed that all of his staff are old men that really do look similar to his Grandpa… I don't know if it's just us, but next time they show his Manor, look at the servants. They really do look like old men who look similar to his grandpa… I'm telling you it's true. Somethin goin on in that there house.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ever the busy bee, that's me. Finally a new chapter. I haven't forgotten about you guys! **

With Renji's tender love and care Byakuya was steadily getting over being ill. All he needed was a little rest and relaxation. At first he didn't thing having Renji there would help him, but that soon proved to be a silly idea. In fact having his vice captain there made his life so much more enjoyable. The noble didn't think he would ever feel that way about anyone else since Hisana. How wrong he was! In fact he felt renewed, as though he woke from a deep sleep and that was a wonderful feeling. Oh how wonderful it felt to be alive! Not many could say that, especially nobles. Most sat around in the comforts of a mansion eating fancy foods, growing fat and insolent. Only Yoruichi was different and she showed him a glimpse of what life really was like, but he was too hot headed to see it then as a child.

When he grew older, he fell in love with Hisana and she gave him purpose. He devoted every day to her for five years until illness stole his beloved away from him. She had been a flower in his life, one he enjoyed caring for and adoring. It was for her that he adopted Rukia, giving her the life she never could. As his only remaining link to Hisana, he did his best to keep her safe even though that meant for the longest time being cold to her because he could not face her, could not stand the resemblance as well as the guilt and the hurt. Byakuya had broken many rules for Hisana and Rukia and it put his life in conflict. Should he honor his request to Hisana or uphold the law as a Kuchiki? The answer to that question does not come easy, but getting beat by Ichigo and seeing Renji stand up to him gave him a place to start.

With new found love comes new found pain. It is now spring and the cherry blossoms are opening. It is the anniversary of Hisana's death and he was used to spending it alone. If work demanded he come in, he came in and finished it quickly before leaving. Usually he decided to stay home and in the comfort of his garden. With Renji around however, it would be difficult, a problem he was not prepared to face, nor did he want to. Some part of him hoped Renji would see how much he wanted to be alone and leave him. Surely the red head would understand? Everyone wants to be alone at some point; even the younger man himself had times where he went off to train and be alone. Byakuya always honored Renji's requests, surely he wouldn't mind leaving him be for a day? The noble was not some small frail flower who needed to be tended to at every moment, anyone knew that.

The noble's thoughts were interrupted as the door to his room slid open. Renji walked in heading right for Byakuya's bed. He knelt by his side and started to pull back the covers. Byakuya pushed himself up silently, avoiding Renji's gaze, unusually quiet considering their usual routine greeting and kiss. Renji obviously picked up fast and decided to grab Byakuya's chin, wanting his kiss. On any normal day he may have put up with it, but this was no ordinary day and he slapped Renji's hand away hard.

"The hell was that for?" came Renji's obnoxiously loud protest. Byakuya chose to ignore it and made a point of ignoring Renji. Today was not the day to test his limits as emotions can make anyone dangerous and especially him, seeing as how he did not let them out, but he bottled them up. He has many years worth of grief and pain that he never exactly dealt with at least not in the normal sense of the word.

Renji glared at him and Byakuya felt it. As irritating as it was, he let it go and started to dress and get himself ready for the day. Since he was off he dressed informally, wearing fancier clothing seeing as how he was home. That meant he left off the hair piece and the gloves, deciding that it wasn't worth the effort to put them on. Carefully he picked up the brush to brush his hair. As soon as the brush was in his hand, he felt Renji taking it out his hand.

Byakuya hated being babied and whipped around, "I am capable of caring for myself Abarai." Renji cringed. He obviously knew from the use of his last name that the noble was seconds away from killing him. Byakuya hoped that he'd get the hint but Renji instead turned him back around and started to brush out his hair. The act made his right eye twitch, as sign that meant he was seconds from losing control of his temper. The vice captain wouldn't know that, but anyone who knew him as a child did.

"I never doubted for a moment that you couldn't take care of yourself Captain." Renji said it softly, more to himself than to his captain, but Byakuya heard it. "I just enjoy it. 'S nice being able to be this close to you, seeing that you're not some cold bastard who enjoys destroying people's hopes n dreams and stuff. Y'know?"

"I'm glad one of us is enjoying this. Quite frankly, it's irritating me. After you are finished with your task of brushing my hair, I order you to leave me alone." Renji hesitated but he knew better than to question the captain when he was in such a dark mood. Despite his feelings, he nodded and quickly completed his task, leaving Byakuya to himself. Byakuya stood and walked over to a door, leading to one of the many corridors inside the manner. He pushed open a serious of doors before he made it to this shrine, the one he had to honor Hisana.

For a brief moment he felt his cold grey eyes soften and tears threaten to overflow, but he held back, staring longingly at the photo. Taking some matches from the sleeve of his shihakusho, he lit a candle, praying that his beloved wife was happy and pleased he carried out her will as much as he could within the confines of his power. Rukia was his precious sister and he could not bear the thought of losing her to anyone or anything. As he stood there the grief began to form a lump in his throat and he felt the ache of loss, but there was more to it now. The feelings were tangled, too tangled for him to deal with or sort through. Byakuya for the first time couldn't articulate and think through how he felt. This wasn't normal, this was different. Everything about his life was so drastically different and he couldn't pin point why exactly.

When he finished he shut the doors and walked out in to the garden. The sun shined brightly and a gentle breeze carried the scent of the fresh outdoors. He made his way to Hisana's favorite spot, his favorite spot and gently sat down in the shade of a tree. Strangely aside from his very confused emotional state, he felt very weakened and dizzy. The shade of the tree would provide him comfort, figuring it was a relapse from his recent illness.

On all sides there were flowers which were blossoming beautifully. Their colors were vibrant and they were his pride. He took great care of them and only let the best of his servants tend to them with a long detailed list of instructions that were to be followed. The calmness of the garden relaxed him and he sat there for a while, meditating and thinking on all that has happened which led to him being here. In that calmness, somewhere along the way, he was lulled to sleep. With a sigh, he stretched out on the soft grass and fell in to what was intended to be a short nap.

"What a dumbass." Byakuya heard the voice say it was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "Why the hell would he sleep here? The temperature dropped rather quickly too… And now his fever's worse." Byakuya whined when he felt a hand shake him and heard the person calling his name.

"Renji?" He opened his eyes with a little effort. As soon as he did he shivered and noticed it was noticeably colder. It was spring so it was conceivable that the temperature dropped a bit. It did that on occasion. He probably felt colder than it actually was seeing as how he was sick. Judging by the way he felt, he figured his fever was worse too. "What are you doing here? I told you to leave me be.

Renji glared, "And I did until I saw you sleeping out here like a dumbass." Byakuya recoiled at the last word. He pushed himself up to stand but stumbled. Renji moved and caught him, but didn't carry him. Just as he was about to question why, he noticed some of his staff looking on. He would have to thank Renji for saving his pride. There was no way he'd ever permit Renji to treat him like something fragile in front of others. His vice captain knew him well, more than he thought or noticed. Using Renji as support, he allowed him to help him to his room, though when they got closer, he pulled away and made it inside on his own out of stubbornness. Once inside he let the red head led him to his bed and he felt Renji gently pushing him down to rest.

"I'm not going to die Renji. You don't need to tend to my every need." Byakuya snapped at him, more hostile than he meant to be. Actually he wanted to thank him, but it didn't come out that way.

For a moment his subordinate forgot where he was and grabbed him and hard as well. "What the hell has gotten in to you? You have been much nicer than usual and now suddenly you turn in to this prick?" At that, Byakuya's eye twitched as did the corner's of his mouth as he smiled.

"I wasn't aware I had to discuss my reasons with a low life shit like you. I must have missed this part. I could have sworn that I was your commanding officer and you had to answer me, not the other way around." At that the vice captain let go of him, backing a few steps away. The fact that the captain was talking so evenly when he was clearly pissed was scary. Anyone stupid enough to continue harassing him would face death, except Renji. He stepped back but he wasn't about to let up.

"I'm not going to stop until you tell me. So what if it's personal? Being my captain doesn't give you the right to treat me like utter shit. So whatever the hell is stuck up your ass, unstuck it. Won't get better the way you are now." Renji closed his eyes as he saw Byakuya flinch and prepared himself to be hit, but after a few minutes he cracked an eye to see Byakuya staring right at him in all his rage. Not all of it was rage however. From the looks of it, he was trying to sort something out in his mind. Hesitantly Renji sat down beside the noble. "Captain?"

Slowly the noble pushed himself, shifting positions until he had climbed in Renji's lap, something he found himself doing a lot of lately. Renji wrapped his arms around his waist before moving on to the bed more so that he could lay back against the pillows, letting Byakuya be more comfortable. As he did Byakuya softly muttered, "It's that day. She died today. I should be over it by now, but I'm not. I can't forget her and I won't."

That was all Renji needed to hear. He knew the story behind it, Byakuya had told Rukia and he was there when he did. It hurt him to hear his captain say what he had, but it was hurting the older man far worse because he was a noble and a soul reaper, a captain at that. Captains especially were not allowed to show or feel emotion. No one could completely shut out their emotions and as time went on his was building up to the point that he was bursting with it.

Byakuya felt Renji's hand cup his chin and listened as he spoke, "Isn't that normal? Any sane normal person would feel the impact of loss, especially someone they loved." Renji was right, Byakuya knew he was. He shook his head though before laying it against the man's chest.

"It's more than that." He paused expecting Renji to say something. When nothing came, he continued. "It's complicated. I feel guilty about it. I fell in love with you… I feel like I'm betraying her memory in some way, like I just forgot about her… I can't just forget about her. No one else will miss her. I'm the only one and I was all she had other than the sister she abandoned and Rukia doesn't even know her…"

Renji kissed him. It wasn't what Byakuya saw coming. He expect the brash red haired man to yell at him about how he needed to move on. Renji wasn't known for his tact. This was different and it wasn't like him. Instinctively, Byakuya pulled away, but just as he did, he felt Renji's hands pull him back. One of them roughly tangled itself in his silky black hair so he couldn't pull away. Byakuya froze, kissing the red head, but not moving or resisting. Only when he felt the need for air did he begin to pull away again. It was a second longer before Renji decided to let him go. The noble gasped for air when he did and stared in to his love's brown eyes.

"I'd normally ungracefully yell at you to forget her, but that would accomplish nothing." Renji's hand softly touched Byakuya's cheek. "However you don't have to spend the day alone. No one should deal with something like this alone, so promise me you'll talk to me when something is wrong. That's all I can ask because unlike you, I can't order you to do it. You're right. It's your problem and your family business, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect or involve me. I'm the one who's stuck loving you. It affects me as well. I don't want to see you like this anymore."

There was nothing Byakuya could say in response. He for once had nothing to say nor could he think of anything. After a moment of staring silently at him, for the first time in a long while he clung to Renji and allowed himself to sob. He would have to remember that he had someone willing to share his burden. Renji would hopefully always be by his side. No longer was he alone and he didn't need to hide behind a mask. Even if he did Renji could see through it. He wasn't as stupid as he once thought the man was. For once, he felt small and at Renji's mercy and he technically was the way the man effected him. None of that mattered now. He was safe in the arms of the one he loved and he vowed to himself he would never forget that or forget what he felt at that moment. The ice over his heart was melting little by little.


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you all didn't lose faith in me. This chapter took a while to write. I wasn't sure what I should do next, plus my summer has been a hectic one. Hopefully I'll get back to a regular updating schedule now that it's settled down.**

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" The words crashed over him, slammed in to him like a tidal wave. Renji was getting braver, much too brave. Even then, he held himself together. A noble never shows weakness or emotion, especially a powerful one who happened to be a captain.

The shouting continued.

"Really! Why do you have to be such a god damn stuck up dick?!" Byakuya flinched, but his expression remained the same. Renji continued to bellow and shout at him and he took it all like a champion. Usually he'd have threatened the red haired man by now, but he just couldn't.

"Did all that time we spent together… All that time that I spent taking caring of you mean nothing?! Answer me Damn it!" The noble merely stared at him, the same ice cold expression as usual plastered on his face. He didn't owe Renji an explanation. A captain does not have to explain himself to his subordinates. When he did not give an answer, Renji turned and stormed out of Byakuya's room, slamming the door behind him.

The silence fell on the room like dead weight. Byakuya stood frozen in place. It had been two days since he returned to active duty and since then. He returned things to their natural order, treating Renji as he had before. It wasn't that he meant to, but he felt he needed to protect himself. His whole life he was raised to be perfect, and the only friend he had, left when he was a child. Then there was Hisana, the wife he loved who died five years in to their marriage. What was he to do? He simply couldn't just move on, nor could he tell Renji he let his heart dictate his actions. As much as it tore him up, a relationship with Renji simply would not work, and that was a problem because his heart insisted he go through with it. For now he planned to continue to ignore and resist his urges. Things needed to return to normalcy, and if they didn't, he could always force Renji to transfer elsewhere. That would always be an option.

Slowly as the realization of his situation seeped in to his brain, the Kuchiki noble turned and walked over to his bed, sinking pitifully down on it. He stared for a long while before he decided that doing nothing was a waste of time. Something had to give. Either he could move on and accept Renji's love, or he could continue to fight and ruin a relationship with Renji, thus sealing his fate and be alone for the rest of his life.

He didn't want to think about that however. Since it was fairly late at night, Byakuya instead decided to sleep. Luckily for him, sleep came easily and he drifted off in to a fairly restful sleep.

"_Byakuya!" A soft voice called out to him. It was full of life, kindness, love. He followed the females out to the garden. "Come look at this. The Cherry blossoms are blooming."_

"_I see. They are very beautiful," He responded tenderly. It was strange hearing his voice like that. He was too used to shouting, arguing with people. At home however, he didn't feel the need to shout or explode because this certain female had a calming effect on him. "Hisana?"_

"_Yes?" She turned to him, her eyes shining with such love and adoration. He simply smiled and took her in his arms. "I'm so happy to be with you Byakuya."_

_Byakuya sighed and took her hand, walking with her. "I am happy to have you by my side." The two slowly made their way through the garden, simply enjoying each other's company. There was nothing complicated between them, simply love and great adoration. Byakuya thought the world of his wife and wanted to do anything to make her happy, even if it meant helping her on a wild goose chase to find her little sister. All that mattered was her happiness._

Byakuya woke with a small sob. It was quiet but clear. He felt tears threaten to fall. It took all of his training to hold them back. How long has it been since he last dreamt of Hisana? The noble put the cause to his fight with Renji and his feelings of resentment towards the brash young man. While he loved him and his ability to express himself, it complicated things because he himself was reserved in showing emotions do to his upbringing. He couldn't handle a lot of emotion and shied away from it. Never the less, he had to deal with his problems.

The Kuchiki noble turned over to see that it was nearly time to get up and decided lying in bed would be wasteful. He stood and made his way to his bathroom to ready himself for the day. Instinctively he sat down in front of his mirror, expected a rather rough pair of hands to begin tangling themselves in his long silky strands. A frown crossed his features for a mere second before he realized the owner of those hands left and was no longer around. In such a short time Renji had become part of his usual routine. It was strange, but he shook his head, clearing his head and began the task of brushing his hair himself. It would be silly to depend on someone to do it for him since he had been doing it himself for so long. Why did it matter now if someone else did it or not? He wasn't that pathetic yet, at least he hoped he wasn't, especially since he had to be perfect and carry the Kuchiki name.

By the time he finished readying himself, it was nearly time for breakfast. He slowly made the trip to the table to find Rukia already in place. He took his spot only to be greeted by a very puzzled expression.

"Is something amiss Rukia?"

She stuttered a bit but answered, "No, not at all. I was simply expected Renji to be here."

"Abarai has left and gone home." Rukia did not question him and he was glad. Most likely she understood what happened and knew him well enough not to pry in to his affairs. Fir that he was grateful. The rest of breakfast went by silently and awkwardly. Renji seemed to make it more smooth and natural, but mostly because he and Rukia argued over small trivial things. Byakuya usually stared at them, raising an eyebrow. What they didn't know is that he would laugh behind closed doors at them when no one was looking. Perhaps he needed to show his emotions a little more, even if it is no more than just a short brief smile or a small laugh. The problem was that it violated all of the teachings he learned as a noble and a soul reaper. That's where his relationship with his vice-captain became complicated. Perhaps there could be a compromise and that small hope propelled him to try.

The captain headed to his squad barracks, arriving precisely on time as he always did. He settled in to working, getting started on all of the paper work. The office was quiet at this hour, as it should be being that it is early in the morning. As usual, Renji arrive grossly late and he of course began his usual lecture.

"Do you give no thought to your job, Abarai? This squad has an image to maintain and your habits must change. I suggest you get an alarm clock so that you come in at the appropriate time."

Renji's eyebrow twitched but he did not comment, settling down at his own desk to work as usual. So far things were going good according to Byakuya. Things were normal. Perhaps Renji can be reasoned with and that only furthered his intention to bring some equal ground to whatever relationship they had. The problem came in his approach. How should he address such a…tender issue? He has courted a woman, before however that was centuries ago and Renji is a man and a rash one at that. Logic would dictate that Byakuya go and ask for help, but he is a prideful noble and so that would of course be out of the question.

As the pair worked in silence, Byakuya thought about what he should do. It was quite a vexing problem because he was used to dealing with such an emotional person. Rukia is a woman, so he expected some degree of emotion, but she is also Hisana's sister and carried a certain grace. Hisana herself was rather soft spoken and graceful as a woman should be, or rather how he was taught a woman should be. Rukia was only the way she was because she grew up in the Rukon District. Renji was naturally a brash man and growing up in the Rukon Distract only made that worse, although Byakuya did find that to be a bit attractive, sometimes it was just too overwhelming. At the same time, it did give him some insight in to how to approach it. Actions meant a lot to Renji, just as it did to Ichigo. Since they were alike, he decided to try and show Renji that he did matter. Standing, the noble walked over to Renji's desk.

"Renji," the name fell off his lips softly and it clearly startled the red head who was engrossed in his work for once. That was very good; he'd start by praising him. However before he could say anything, Renji glared at him.

"I'm working! See? It's perfect and neat just like you wanted." He thrust the paper in Byakuya's face. "You have no reason to come over here and lecture me!" To that Byakuya's eye brow twitched. His plan already descended in to ruins and he barely said the man's name. He stared at him, his left eye brow twitching in annoyance as he tried to keep his voice even and cold.

"I was not intending to say anything of the sort when I walked over here, but I will now." He crossed his arms and gave Renji his coldest glare possible. "Your recent behavior is grossly inappropriate and I will not have this disrespect." Renji merely glared, but said nothing. Renji was no fool and knew when to keep quiet, after all Byakuya was still capable of beating him. Hopefully he will correct his behavior now.

With his plan ruined, Byakuya returned to his own desk and resumed working on a plan to again try and communicate his intentions and desire to work their relationship out. In fact, he was so engrossed in his thoughts that he did not take his usual break. He was started when he heard the sound of a cup being placed on his desk. Looking up, he saw Renji placing a plate of food, a plate of his favorite food in fact, on the corner next to the tea that Renji made so very well.

"What is this?" He set the brush down and looked at Renji.

Renji looked away and rubbed the back of his head. "You were working and didn't take you usual break, so I took the liberty of bringing you something…"

"I see… That is acceptable." Byakuya reached and pulled the plate towards him, beginning to eat. Renji stood there rather awkwardly. Why, Byakuya had no idea. "Is there something else you needed Renji?"

Renji stared at him for a moment. Byakuya was right, he did want something. Renji looked away, "Sort of… Yeah."

"What is it?"

"What do you mean 'what is it?' You know exactly what it is!" Now he was raising his voice and this most surely was not going to end well.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow in thought before shaking his head, "No I most certainly do not. Enlighten me."

Renji's mouth gaped, "All that noble training and emphasis on respect," he slammed his hands down on the desk, "And you can't even thank me for doing something nice?!"

Byakuya sat calming behind his desk eating and sipping his tea. Renji was growing even more furious by the second. He sighed and sat the cup down. "Have I ever thanked you once? Why is now any different?"

Renji growled, "Are you serious? I don't believe this…" Byakuya again stared at him puzzled, eyebrow raised. Renji continued, "And my behavior is disrespectful… Knowing what I know now, my behavior is very well justified."

"How so? I am your commanding officer. I do not owe you anything nor are you entitled to more than any other subordinate. I don't have to thank you for doing your job. You do it because it's your job. If you feel this is not satisfactory than I can accommodate you."

Renji placed his hands on his sides, "Really? You'll stop being a cold dick then?"

Byakuya shook his head.

"Then what?" Renji stood and watched as the noble pulled a piece of paper out of a drawer. "What is that?"

Byakuya picked up his brush and dipped it in the ink before he began to gracefully form the letters of Renji's name. "You can transfer to someone else's squad. I'm through trying to reason with you."


	7. Chapter 7

"So you're going to run from the problem?" Renji snorted and turned to walk off. "This is unbelievable. You're really unbelievable."

"No. I just refuse to put up with your disrespectful attitude." Byakuya began to fill out the form that he pulled out. He didn't say a word as Renji wordlessly exited the office after gathering his things. Byakuya figured he was doing the right thing. It would be highly inappropriate to continue with their relationship. He was a noble and Renji a commoner. They simply could not be together and he wasn't entire sure that he was ready to settle with someone else. The thought of it scared him and he was too prideful to explain his action to Renji. Why should he explain himself to Renji? He was his captain as well as a noble, and thus Renji should not even question his actions. There was more to it than just that. He never spoke of his feelings to anyone except his grandfather, though now he barely did.

Byakuya finished the form and added it to the paperwork to be submitted. There wasn't much to do so he finished his work quickly and submitted it all. It was not long before he arranged for Renji to return to squad 11. It also created quite a stir around the barracks, but he easily ignored the talk and squashed any of the rumors. He was not about to allow such talk to tarnish his reputation. He made his way home at the end of the day for some relaxation and a nice cup of coffee. Ukitake however walked over to him. The older soul reaper was like a mentor to him. He was wise and though he would never say it, he did hold the more experienced captain in high esteem just as everyone else did.

"Captain Kuchiki", he heard Ukitake yell and he slowed his pace to give the white haired captain a chance to catch up to him. "I heard that you are transferring Renji… May I ask why?" He coughed a few times, but he managed to ask the question. Byakuya offered him tea inside and as it was served, he began to pour his heart out to Ukitake. He simply felt comfortable telling the man how he felt, but then again Ukitake spoiled him when he was younger. He left out a few of the details, but he told him the general problem.

"I simply refuse to put up with his disrespect. I feel it is necessary to let someone else handle that fiery red haired man." He looked away, not entirely telling him everything, but it was still the truth. He left out that he was beginning to have feelings. Even then somehow the older male knew how he felt even though he had his mask up, hiding how he felt. "He's been extremely rude and he does not know when to back off. I am not some gentle flower that needs caring for."

Ukitake listened to the Kuchiki noble tell his story. He smiled and nodded, not interrupting him. Byakuya knew that he was beginning to understand and suspect him and his motives. It was not until he patted his hand that his suspicions were confirmed. "You're running away from the problem. I don't blame you, but you're making a mistake, but I won't fight you over it. You'll see in time the error of your ways. That's not the only thing I came here to discuss. We do still have that joint training session to discuss and plan for." Byakuya gave Ukitake a defiant glare, but he didn't dare speak ill to him. He respected Ukitake too much to dare do that, but he didn't think he'd miss Renji after all; he was still a loud, brash and rude man. He tried not to focus on that and went about his evening, doing things to distract himself. Renji was not all that was on his mind. Hisana's and his anniversary was coming up and since she was his only love, he focused more on that and remembering her. It was the cause of his problems and one of the reasons he pushed Renji away. The noble didn't want to forget or betray her.

The next few days leading up to his anniversary were the most troublesome to get through. It was when things began to pick up in work. Without Renji there, Byakuya was struggling to keep up with the work load. He still finished, or tried to finish the work, but it was tiring him out. He was becoming irritable and burnt out, as well as losing track of his responsibilities. The problem began when he had to leave and go with his squad on a mission to take care of a few Menos Grande. Without a vice-captain, he needed to lead them out on the mission. Since it was his decision to transfer Renji, he accepted all the responsibility. The mission in to the real world was not as simple. As they were taking care of the Menos, a few Espada ambushed them during the confusion. Normally he would have caught the attack, but his mind was busy elsewhere, thinking about Renji and Hisana both were deadly combos and he ended up getting injured.

Getting injured would have been fine, excepted The Head Yamamotto simply had to give him a lecture. The lecture alone was enough to add to his distraction and push him over the edge. As he spoke, each word seemed to push him closer and closer to a break down. He was injured and embarrassed, but now he was getting lectured. Byakuya closed his eyes as Yamamotto started.

"I expected more from you Captain Kuchiki… You should have easily seen that attack coming…" The elder captain continued to go on and on about how disappointed he was. Byakuya gracefully took it all in stride, but he silently let himself have it. The Head captain was right, he should have seen it coming, but he didn't make a fuss. When the lecture was over, he went home and rested, but tried to keep up with the increased work and his duties, which now included the Vice-Captain's duties until such time as he could appoint one. Honestly, the noble had no idea how Ukitake managed, but then again his squad did not fear him the way sixth squad's members feared Byakuya. Renji was essential in that regard, but he was determined to deal with the problem on his own.

This led to his next problem: he couldn't keep track of his meetings or his noble duties as the Kuchiki head of the family. He started to neglect a bit of both and miss vital meetings and dates for social engagements. Renji was always there to remind him, even if he did not need it. He never complained, but without Renji there, he easily forgot his other duties as he tried to cope and catch up with this mess he was in. The other captain noticed instantly and it was Ukitake who first approached him.

"Byakuya I think you need to find Renji and ask for his help. You don't have to apologize, but you're a mess." Ukitake gently tried to urge him to go to Renji, but Byakuya refused to admit his wrongs, especially to a commoner like Renji. He knew Renji would not gloat or say "I told you so" like most, but he simply did not want to face that without the man by his side, he was a wreck.

Byakuya shook his head, "I'm fine. I simply need to get used to not having extra help. I can handle this on my own. I was before he came around after all." Ukitake sadly shook his head, but the man knew he would not back down. It was a combination of all the work and the fact he did not properly rest, especially with his injuries. He took the rest when he got back, but that wasn't the proper idea of rest. While he should have rested, Byakuya pushed himself to try and catch up on his duties. Instead of quietly resting in bed, he ran around trying to catch up on his duties as a noble. It all came crashing on him at once.

It was as he was on his way to a meeting that Byakuya collapsed from all the pressure. He felt himself falling, but he never hit the ground which was rushing towards him.

"Ukitake was right, you are a mess," Byakuya heard a familiar voice as familiar and strong arms lifted him up. He stared stupidly as Renji smiled that same cocky grin down at him. "I'm not going to lecture you. That's not how I am and you know it." He carried Byakuya home despite the protests and gently set him down, feelings his head, "I want to ask you to take me back. You're right. I was very disrespectful, but you're a pain in the ass to deal with sometimes. Even so, I admit I am wrong. Will you take me back, Captain Kuchiki?"

Byakuya moved to push himself up, but Renji pushed him back down. He didn't feel much like fighting and stayed put. His face was flush from a fever and exhaustion, but he was well enough to comprehend what his fiery red-head said. Letting out a soft sigh, he nodded. "I can't do it without you. I'm a wreck, but I'm not going to suddenly open up like you want me to. Can't you understand that?" Renji nodded and he continued, "That is no reason to have treated you so terribly either, but it won't change overnight…"

Renji kissed him gently, "I realize that, but I'm a very impatient man. Even so I can try to be a little less brash… Enough about that. Rest and let me take care of your work. I can easily rally the squad to help. Just sign this and let me come back." Byakuya agreed and signed it, making it official, but all was not fixed instantly. The problem didn't and wouldn't just go away suddenly. He didn't worry about that now but instead closed his eyes and drifted off in to a restful sleep comforted by the knowledge that Renji was there to help him again, at least for now if he didn't screw things up. He knew he would especially since his anniversary was fast approaching and he simply couldn't and wouldn't forget her and move on.


End file.
